25 Reasons Why Blizzard Should Give Me Free World of Warcraft For Life

1. I’m a serious player, I’ve yelled at enough 12-year-old boys during raids to prove it.
2. I almost never believe a player claiming to be female actually is a woman, or even an adult.
3. I am a woman, and I know how to PVP. I prefer to do dungeons and raids but at least I know how to do it all.
4. I always do my job in a raid or dungeon.
5. I’m old, at least compared to most players. I bring a certain level of maturity to the game. Like when I’m screaming at the idiot hunters, I always use the most appropriate curse words for the occasion. In fact, I am an expert at putting multiple curses together into entirely new and impressive insults.
6. About hunters, I am fully aware that when I play on my hunter I turn into an idiot too.
7. I’ve been playing a long time. I’ve tried to leave a few times but I always go back, proving that World of Warcraft is a forever commitment.
8. I can discuss the game for hours with minimal food and bathroom breaks. I’ve convinced many other women to play. All of these former friends are exactly the same person I was five years ago so they are good WoW investments as soon enough they will convince people and make enemies.
9. Speaking of minimal food and bathroom breaks, did I mention I killed the Lich King back in the day? I’m almost sure that I passed out in relief when that miracle happened.
10. I’m a champ at leveling and can advise other how to do the same quickly.
11. I still laugh when someone says Leroy Jenkins.
12. Reading trade chat for an hour is an entertaining way to spend my time.
13. Blizzard will always make money off me. If I got free WoW time I would simply buy more things from their store. I already spend the money monthly, so it’s in the budget.
14. I’ll never get tired of ‘going back in time’ storylines.
15. I didn’t hate pandas OR worgen.
16. I am not a gold farmer, or an anything else farmer.
17. I have played every class and most races. Sorry but I can’t stand to have a cow or dead person as a character.
18. I play both Alliance and Horde. My heart is truly Alliance but at least I’ve tried both.
19. My husband and I play together. He doesn’t get mad when I always win rolls on mounts and I almost never get mad when he wins all the rolls on gear.
20. I’m great at coming up with character names.
21. I think collector’s editions are worth the money.
22. I bought a World of Warcraft messenger bag and I’m proud of it.
23. Transmogrification is a win, see picture.
24. I will go to Blizzcon someday.
25. I met my husband playing WoW and I’m not embarrassed by it.

Sounds reasonable right?