Flash Fiction – Best Day Ever

Harold tried it with a blue-eyed blonde. He’d attempted with a green-eyed redhead. He endeavored to make it happen with many brunettes and one with black hair. He moved on to men in the same order. Hell, he’d even tried with animals. It never worked. No matter who or what stood before him, he couldn’t kill them.

Over and over he’d raised his special knife, savored the fear in the would-be victims face…then nothing. He was never able to do it and let each go. He wasn’t a coward. None of them were magical creatures and apparently nothing else would do.

He was on the verge of giving up forever when he saw a commercial for a new local nerd convention. Since he was a fan of a few franchises he paid close attention. Sci-fi, fantasy, video games, comics, anime – this one had it all. The ad ended with a medley of people dressed up as their favorite characters.

Harold let the breath he’d been holding out. Finally there was an answer. The solution to his dream was staring him in the face: Cosplayers. Murdering a few would probably be the closest he would ever get to killing magical creatures.

He brushed the few remaining hairs he had, grabbed his keys and the knife and raced to the convention. This would be the best day ever!

It was almost overwhelming to have so many potential victims to choose from. Roaming around the main floor he made a mental list of his favorites. After an hour he narrowed it down to ten.

The first wore the costume of a unicorn, with wings. Her skin was painted violet and she wore a wig of a darker shade of purple with strands of pink running through. Harold followed her for a while but gave up when he realized she wasn’t going to leave the middle of the hall.

He shifted his attention to the woman dressed as a vampire. Excitement prickled his skin when he overheard her say she was taking a bathroom break. Unfortunately she didn’t go alone. Frustrated he moved on again.

On and on it went, each potential victim eluding him. Did these people always stick together? In all the hours he’d been there, not one person had spent a moment alone.

Discouraged he tramped outside to smoke. Halfway through the cigarette he noticed someone a few feet away leaning against the wall, alone. It was a woman with pointy ears, green hair and clothing made of leaves and moss. He thought her costume’s wings were particularly well done and was admiring them when they fluttered.

Harold was so surprised he could only stare. As he watched, the woman began to glow. Her head jerked up at Harold’s gasp and the glimmering disappeared. A real fairy?

“It’s not what you think,” she said.

“It’s exactly what I think,” he replied. “You’re a magical being.”

“Damn I wish you hadn’t seen that. It’s hard to control for so many hours.”

“I’m lucky I did.” Harold pulled out his knife and advanced on the fairy.

“Wait,” the other said. “I’ve been observing you watch everyone all day. Are you a serial killer?”

With confidence he never knew he could have, Harold answered. “Yes, finally.”

“Oh good, I’m glad I didn’t waste my time.” The creature held an arm out, palm facing Harold. Green fire shot from her hand and hit him in the chest.

As Harold lay dying the magical being leaned over him.

“I’ve been looking for weeks for a human serial killer to slay. Thank you, this was the best day ever!”

This was the last and hardest of the five stories I recently wrote. I didn’t know where it was going when I started. I didn’t know how it would end when I wrote the middle and I had no idea what the magical creature would be even as I was writing it (I only came up with the fairy last night).

It all started with the idea of a guy who wanted to be a serial killer but couldn’t make himself actually kill anyone. A writing friend suggested maybe he only killed magic creatures when I complained I didn’t know what to do with it. I grabbed the idea and ran with it. I thought about cosplay (mostly because my daughter is into that) and ended up with the this story. Any likeness to real-life cosplayers was luck on my part.


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