Dread filled Thomas. They would come for him soon. He glanced around the holding room and saw his fear mirrored in the eyes of the others. Every one of them knew their turn would come. Like him, they had no choice. Still, he knew each of the would-be victims hoped they weren’t next.
Even now he could hear someone being tormented. It must be the old man who’d been so kind to him earlier. Poor guy.
The door opened, and a woman signaled to him. She didn’t look so threatening, he thought, but he knew better. Well, he would go to his fate with his head held high. He stood, and before he followed the torturer, he caught one of the others staring at him in sympathy. The tears in her eyes almost broke him, but he resolutely stepped forward.
The evil woman led him to a tiny cell and bid him sit. Afraid they would force him if he didn’t obey he sat quickly.
They tortured him for an hour. At some point, a man took over. It got worse from there. Needles, sharp tools, and unexplainable pain followed. No matter what they did, he didn’t talk.
Finally, he was released. The woman who brought him to his cell pointed to the way out and left him. He ran to the door and stumbled through. His mother was waiting for him.
“All done?” she asked. At his nod, she continued. “Three cavities Tommy! Now will you brush and floss every day?”
He agreed readily. In all his thirteen years he’d never been through something so traumatic. He would do anything to avoid this torture again.
*Rough draft 276 words
Can you tell I’m about to go to the dentist? I don’t need fillings though. I have to get a crown, or more accurately, they will take the mold for the crown, and possibly redo the temporary I have. I’m so sick of dental stuff!
Anyway, I used a one-word writing prompt today – Dread. It seemed fitting because it’s what I’m feeling. Also, I wrote this in fifteen minutes so it is the roughest of rough drafts. I didn’t even try to fix spelling.
I love the twist at the end! I’m just getting into flash fiction and you’ve inspired me to want to write more, thank you.
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I’m so glad to hear that! I started writing flash fiction because I didn’t think I was any good at it. So it was a challenge to myself. Now I love writing it!
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Kristi, I had a feeling from the start that it would be about the dentist. After all, you have just been through that torture. That it was a boy and not a man was a little surprising, though. Great piece!
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Great post, Kristi! I loved the twist. I totally didn’t see that coming! I have recently started experimenting with flash fiction. I’m working on the ability to spring surprises like these on my readers!
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I loved this Kristi. This was the first post I read of yours. It was recommended to me. I love flash fiction. I write flash fiction as well.
My blog is write for the kill. I will be reading a few of yours tonight. Great twist
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